Is Despair A Sin?
Recently, I encountered a discussion between two atheists in the comments of a Christian blog that revolved around the traditional idea of suicide being a sin, and one that is impossible to repent of.
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I think this discussion is partly the result of a line of thinking which conflates two -- related but distinct -- meanings of the word "sin." This is not a function of the discussion happening between atheists: I have seen Christians demonstrate this confusion a lot, and they rarely seem to even realize they're doing it.
The first definition of "sin" is basically the spiritual equivalent of "crime." There is a Law or Rule against something, and breaking it constitutes Sin. Under this definition, it would be horribly cruel to describe the absence of hope as a sin. From personal experience, I can tell you that the last thing someone experiencing despair needs is to be told that they are bad and wrong for feeling awful. That presupposes that our emotions are totally under our conscious control, and therefore if we feel a certain way, it's because we have chosen it. Long story short, that is Not How It Works.
It is in this context that one of the participants of the discussion brings up the idea that originated (I believe) in Terry Pratchett's novel Carpe Jugulum. In the book, the character Granny Weatherwax has a disagreement with a clergyman where she insists that the essence of sin is "treating people as things." When the clergyman tries to add onto this definition, she shuts him down, saying, "Nope. People as things. That's it."*
As far as the sin-as-crime view goes, I think this idea makes a lot of sense. Even when I read it the first time, though, I felt it was somehow incomplete. For one thing, it's not only "people" who can be sinned against. What about treating animals as things, treating God as a means to an end, treating the planet, even the entire universe as an object to be exploited instead of engaged with and learned from? Are these not also "sins" in this conception?
The second definition is a bit broader. In this view, "sin" is anything that separates humans from God. I would phrase it even more broadly, as anything that corrupts relationships, whether those relationships are between humans and God, among individual humans or groups of humans, or between humans and the rest of creation.
While I wholeheartedly reject the idea of despair being sin under the first definition, I can easily see it being the second. Despair, in the form of depression, has destroyed my relationships in the past, some of them irreparably. The worst thing about depression, at least for me, is that it makes hope impossible. It takes away my ability to believe that anything can ever get better, that I can ever behave differently.
This hopelessness is insidious: it affects everything. Years ago, I gave up hope that the United States would ever enact reasonable gun legislation. After the Sandy Hook tragedy, I reasoned that if we were ever going to do anything, that would be the time. And yet, politicians sent their "thoughts and prayers" and continued to do absolutely nothing. In the choice between guns and the lives of our children, we had chosen guns. I lost hope.
And now I see, in the past month, young people all over this country declaring that enough is enough. They are organized, they are pissed off, and they are not going to accept other people's limitations. It's dangerous to hope, so even when I was able to do so, I chose not to. These young people are not making the same mistake.
Because I had decided that nothing could be done, I decided to do nothing. And that was sin. Not in the sense that I acted directly against anyone, but in the sense that I contributed to an overall atmosphere of resignation and despair.
So, I ask forgiveness for taking the easy road and not the right one. I will be there, marching alongside these brave kids on March 24.
Where will you be?
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*This is paraphrased. I don't have the book in front of me, and it's been a while since I last read it.